I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
They took my balls.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
