He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize