Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
