ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
