dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
