you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
