sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
