So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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