Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
