belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
