We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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