He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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