3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize