so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
