I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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