No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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