Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
