the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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