I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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