did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
