weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
