Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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