she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
did you just send me my own nude
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize