Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
