im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
