Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
