i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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