doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
