He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
