to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
