Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
