i would punch a child for taco bell
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
