I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
