she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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