9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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