Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
