yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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