his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
