I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
