when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
