Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize