I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it glows. i had to have it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
