i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
