yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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