dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
