i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
