OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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