I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
