Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
