I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
