Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
