Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
