it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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