what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
