party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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