is your mom at the bar?
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
