She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
