Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
