If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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