yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
