Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
