would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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