They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am one with the molecules
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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