i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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