it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
