I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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