Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
