are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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