Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
