Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
